Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Handle With Care Issue 1

  Believe it or not, writing humor comes easy for me.  Whether you agree if it's "humor" or not is what will separate us from the rest.  Now here's the thing about my humor: it's childish.  Don't let the sophisticated slapstick trouble you, the humor is meant for all people of all intelligences.  So why not write something all-ages?  I know.  Me?  To write something without a shot or syringe?  Well, here it is.  Something light-hearted to carry your woes.  Put that bottle down, pick up a smile.  Here's the first of five issues to read with a youngin'.  Here's "Handle With Care".

* * *


PAGE 1

PANEL:
A full page of the intergalactic battle to end them all. History would never understand the true sacrifices given that day. If history survives, that is. Battleships explode, giant robots shoot into crowds of floating spacemen, who shoot back with missiles and lazers. Planets explode in glorious fanfare and more towards the foreground, about 100 ft from the reader, is the edge of a spaceship where a battle is taking place in the void of space. Gorgaxians (green lizard-like aliens in robes that walk on tentacles) shoot at opposing alien races who float and fire back towards them at great speed.

VO BOX
And the battle was fought for a millennia.

It spanned galaxies, species, and time.

The Gorgax race would never back down.

But neither would the rest of the universe.

PAGE 2

PANEL:
A spaceman (but in this case a woman) lands on the wing of the spaceship with explosions coming from all sides. She does that cool thing superheroes do where you land with one knee, one foot, and one hand on the ground but don’t fall over. You can’t see her face through the visor of her helmet, but the raygun she holds up is distraction enough. Ahead of her are Gorgaxians wielding spears, coming towards her.

VO BOX
The Gorgaxians had spread their evil tendrils around the throat of every planet they came across and crushed the life from every world.

PANEL:
A long shot of The Hero racing towards the horde of Gorgaxians at full charge, firing her raygun wildly into the crowd, disintegrating their heads with every shot.

VO BOX
But those that carried the burden of surviving also carried with them the gift of resistance.

PANEL:
The Hero ducks under a spear swung at her head, firing a hole into the Gorgax’s stomach and hitting another Gorgax in the head with the same shot behind him.

VO BOX
Every Pillion…

PANEL:
The Hero jumps into the air, doing a summersault and firing her raygun into the crowd.

VO BOX
Every Torrentiun…

PANEL:
A spear sticks into The Hero’s helmet, effectively taking it off for her as she’s still moving through space upside down and firing into the crowd. This reveals The Hero as a gorgeous woman with long, brown hair. Her makeup is unfazed by the war.

VO BOX
Every Human… fought against the Gorgax plague.

PANEL:
The Hero finishes her summersault over the crowd of Gorgaxians by landing one foot on the face of one more Gorgax soldier.

THE HERO
Hup!

PAGE 3

PANEL:
The Hero jumps up to the top of the spaceship, where the Gorgax leader stands on a podium, watching the war unfold with his back to The Hero.

THE HERO
Ha!

PANEL:
The Hero smiles with furrowed brows.

THE HERO
Villicur!

PANEL:
Villicur, the Gorgax leader, turns around with a sneerful smile.

VILLICUR
Ah…

The Human pest is back to die a second time!

PANEL:
The Hero steps closer to Villicur, putting her raygun in its holster.

THE HERO
I was brought back to life with the help of the TyQuillan tribe! And although they may not be with me this day, I won’t need their help!

PANEL:
With The Hero standing before Villicur, we see her reaching into a satchel attached to her belt behind her back.

THE HERO
This time I won’t let you cheat…

VILLICUR
(Did not.)

THE HERO
for I have with me…

PANEL:
From Villicur’s perspective, The Hero whips out a retro-future-looking gun, very aged, and points it with a smirk right at the reader.

THE HERO
The Atomizer of Earth!

PANEL:
Villicur shudders with anger and fear.

VILLICUR
Ack! The ultimate weapon! But how—?!

PAGE 4

PANEL:
Another shot of The Hero holding the Atomizer towards Villicur.

THE HERO
I’d tell you, but you won’t be alive to remember the tale!

PANEL:
The Hero fires a hail of green lightning from the Atomizer at Villicur, who flinches at the shot.

THE HERO
You Dumb-head!

VILLICUR
Hey I’m tell—

PANEL:
A long shot of the ship they’re on. A large explosion of fire and green lightning erupts from the back half of the ship.

PAGE 5

PANEL:
Smoke rises in a large sheet from where Villicur was standing.

PANEL:
The Hero watches with anticipation and a bead of sweat down her cheek.

THE HERO

PANEL:
Another silent panel of smoke rising from the podium.

PANEL:
Smoke still rises from the podium, but laughter comes from within.

VILLICUR
HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

PANEL:
The smoke begins to clear and Villicur is in a pink bubble, unscathed. The Hero has her hands out in front of her in disbelief.

THE HERO
What?!

VILLICUR
Not even the ultimate weapon can stand up to…

MY FORCE FIELD!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

PANEL:
Another shot of The Hero and Villicur arguing.

THE HERO
Duuuuude!

I knew you’d do it again! You’re such a cheat!

VILLICUR
Am not.

THE HERO
It’s an Atomizer! It destroys atoms! Your force field is made of them!

VILLICUR
But what if it’s magic?

PANEL:
The Hero is yelling, eyes closed and fists out, but her foot is slipping off the edge of the spaceship.

THE HERO
You

are such

a BUTT!

I ca—woop.

PAGE 6

PANEL:
Jill lays on the ground, having just fallen off the couch in their living room. She’s curled herself into a ball, holding her head with a toy gun near her. Jack is leaning over the side of the coffee table he’s on, with their dad’s robe covering him.

JACK
OhmyGod!

Are you okay?

PANEL:
Jill is holding her head, with tears in her eyes, angrily looking up at Jack.

JILL
I’m telling Mom!

JACK
Telling her what? That you don’t know how to look where you’re stepping?

PANEL:
Jill is standing now, with an accusing finger pointing at Jack, who stands on the table with hands in the air.

JILL
It’s your fault, Jack!

JACK
What?! How?!

PANEL:
Their faces get closer to each other as they continue arguing.

JILL
It wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t cheat!

JACK
I didn’t cheat, Jill! You just hate losing! It’s not my fault you have no ‘rifferal vision!

PANEL:
Their faces get closer still. And progressively more angry.

JILL
I have more ‘rifferals than you’ll ever have!

JACK
You’ll also have less brain cells!

PANEL:
Jack jumps down from the coffee table, tossing the robe on the couch as he walks across the room with an angry look. Jill’s face mirrors his, an accusing finger pointing at Jack as he walks away and a fist pounding on the table.

JILL
Liar! Girls have bigger brains! It’s science!

PANEL:
Jack walks out of the room and marches towards the reader while Jill pokes her head out from the threshold of the living room to get the last word in from the background.

JILL
Like atoms, Jack!

PANEL:
Jack is sitting on his bed, and has stopped playing with an action figure he has in his hand to stare straight ahead with the same grumpy look he had before. Jill is heard from somewhere in the house, behind his closed door.

JILL
SCIIIIIIEEEEEENCE!

PAGE 7

PANEL:
Jill is angrily having a tea party with her stuffed animals around a small plastic table, looking straight ahead.

PANEL:
Jack is angrily playing with cars, looking straight ahead.

PANEL:
Jill is taking muffins out of her toy oven, wearing apron and oven mitts, still angry but looking down at her handiwork.

PANEL:
Jack is watching TV, still angry but seeming a bit more focused.

PANEL:
Jill is brushing her doll’s hair, with an indifferent look.

PANEL:
Jack is playing video games on the same TV, with an indifferent look.

PANEL:
Jill is snapping Legos together, building some unidentifiable creation with focus, tongue out of the mouth. You can see Jack in the background coloring at the dinner table.

PANEL:
Jack is coloring at the dinner table with a look of focus, tongue out of the mouth. You can see Jill in the background playing with Legos.

PANEL:
Jack looks over to his left.

PANEL:
A large cardboard box sits on its side in the other room.

PANEL:
Jack sits on the side of the chair, his focus on the box. Jill is in the foreground, walking over towards it, and tossing a Lego behind her without emotion.

JACK
You wanna go play with that box?

JILL
Sure, okay.

PAGE 8

PANEL:
The kids tower over the tipped-over box.

JILL
Is this what the refi—

The refiji—

Is this what the fridge came in?

PANEL:
Jack is putting the box upright so they can climb in. The box is wide enough for them both to fit.

JACK
Yup.

JILL
Whatta you wanna do with it?

PANEL:
Jack is looking into it, both hands holding the edges of the box. Jill is smiling in the background, hugging her pink purse.

JACK
I dunno, whatever we want, I guess.

JILL
You wanna do another space adventure?

PANEL:
Jack looks over his shoulder at Jill. He has a furrowed brow and an inquiring look.

JACK
Oh come on, again?

JILL
You ruined the last one with “magic”. I want a do-over.

JACK
What’s wrong with magic?!

PANEL:
Jill has walked up to the box next to Jack. Jack looks ahead with an insightful but annoyed look.

JILL
Magic has no place in science-fiction, Jack. They don’t make “magic-fiction stories”, they make “fantasy”. And last time I checked, you have a hard time dealing with “fantasy”.

JACK
If centaurs have two ribcages then they must have like, four lungs, right? How do they breathe?

PANEL:
Jack and Jill climb inside the box, each take a side of flaps that close it. They look at each other as they close the box. Jack rolls his eyes.

JILL
Can we do a space adventure where we’re on the same side? So there’s no confusion over the word “reality”?

JACK
Fine.

PAGE 9

PANEL:
A black panel, showing nothing.

JACK
Ready?

PANEL:
Little round lights in different colors cut through the darkness.

JACK
Lights!

PANEL:
The same shot as the last panel, but now the lights have come on. Jack and Jill are in a cockpit, both smiling. Jack is in front of the control panel, the little round lights are buttons. He grips the throttle to the spaceship. Both Jack and Jill are wearing spacesuits and helmets with visors.

JACK
Ignition!

PANEL:
A spaceship leaves Earth, shooting out towards the stars. It’s small in stature, slightly bigger than a cardboard box.

JACK
Liftoff!

PANEL:
The ship zips around asteroids at a cartoonish rate, making movements no actual ship could make.

JILL
Watch out for the asteroids!

JACK
Don’t worry! I’m a veterinarian of war! I’ve flown worse than this!

PAGE 10

PANEL:
The ship flies towards an alien world. Moons float nearby.

JILL
Set course for that thing over there!

JACK
Roger!

PANEL:
The front of the ship burns up in the atmosphere upon entry.

JACK
Oh no!

PANEL:
Jack and Jill are in the cockpit, Jack gripping the throttle. Jill is behind him with her hands raised straight in the air in distress, out of her seat, but both of them are smiling wide.

JILL
What is it?!

JACK
The compass collider column compressor is broke!

JILL
Oh no!

PANEL:
The ship plummets towards an open alien field, lush with grass and strange-looking trees. Smoke trails behind the rocket.

JACK
Prepare for crash landing!

PANEL:
The ship crashes into the field. The ship kicks-up dirt and digs itself deep into the ground.

PAGE 11

PANEL:
The top of the rocket opens like the cardboard box does with a kick from a spaceman’s leg. (It’s Jack.)

PANEL:
Jack stands up, basking in the alien sun, fists on his hips and his helmet still on. He has a look of accomplishment and vigor on his face. Jill stands up, one hand holding herself up on the spaceship and another hand on her butt.

JACK
Ah, yes.

Today is a great day for adventure. Eh, Jill?

JILL
That actually kinda hurt my butt.

PANEL:
Jill takes off her helmet and looks at the landscape they’ve crashed on, squinting. Jack stares in the same direction he has been, same pose and everything.

JACK
Adventure awaits us! All kinds of peril lies before our path to the alien overlord’s palace!

JILL
Waitaminute…

PANEL:
Jack stands the same. Jill knocks on the side of the rocket with her fist. It makes a metallic thud.

JACK
But in return for toppling his evil regime: Riches! Riches beyond all imagining!

PANEL:
Jill, still hunched over and inspecting the rocket, looks in Jack’s direction and calls to him. Jack has his arms in the air, monologuing to no one in particular.

JILL
Jack.

JACK
We will have the wealth of kings! (And queens.) We will be the heroes of civilizations!

PANEL:
Same angle as the last panel. Jack is still monologuing with different hand gestures.

JACK
They’ll build statues in our hon—

JILL
Jack!

PAGE 12

PANEL:
Jack turns toward Jill with his hands in the air.

JACK
What?!

JILL
Take a look at this.

PANEL:
Jack is just sort of looking down at Jill, not exactly sure what she’s trying to get at.

JACK
It’s a rocketship.

JILL
Take off your space helmet and look at this.

PANEL:
Jack takes off his space helmet with a blank stare, still not understanding what Jill’s intent is.

PANEL:
Jill squints her eyes at Jack, a little ticked that he’s still not getting it.

JILL
Jack, when we got in the box, you didn’t bring a space helmet with you.

PANEL:
Jack has the same expression as before, staring at Jill, but with wide eyes.

PANEL:
The kids are in the cockpit of the rocketship now, frantically pressing buttons.

JACK
Quick, how do we start this thing?!

JILL
You were the one flying it!

JACK
It was flying when we got in the box!

PANEL:
Jack sits in the pilot’s seat, blankly staring forward, eyes wide. Jill continues looking for a way to get the rocket to move.

JILL
Can’t you figure it out?! Shouldn’t these buttons do something?

JACK
Maybe the rocket’s broken.

PANEL:
Jack and Jill are close to each other’s faces, argumentative.

JILL
You’re the one who crashed it!

JACK
I HAD TO, JILL! YOU CAN’T START A STORY WITHOUT CONFLICT!

PAGE 13

PANEL:
Jack collapses into the pilot’s seat, exhausted and out of hope. Jill holds up her pink purse and looks at it with a big smile.

JACK
It’s useless! We’re never gonna see home again! We’ll have to live out in the alien wilderness with nothing to eat! We’ll have to find that stuff mom always says we’re going to have to feed ourselves with when we’re older. Those Welfare Chex.

JILL
Wait! I brought my satchel!

PANEL:
Jack has run up towards Jill and looks at her with a big smile, hunched over and hands out as if waiting for a rescue plan. Jill still looks at her purse with a smile, facing Jack.

JACK
Your purse?

JILL
It’s a satchel. Don’t let the color fool you.

JACK
Does it have a key to start the ship?!

PANEL:
Jack holds the same position: hands out, hunched over, looking at Jill, but without a smile. Jill still looks at her purse.

JILL
No, but I brought the water pistol in case of danger and granola bars in case we got…

PANEL:
Jill looks at Jack without a smile. Jack still holds the same position, but frowns angrily.

JILL
hungry…

PANEL:
Jack smacks the purse out of Jill’s hands, and both stare at each other with the same look of disdain.

PAGE 14

PANEL:
Jack and Jill are climbing over the opening of the rocketship, watching their footing. Jill has her pink purse slung over her shoulder. They don’t notice the silhouettes holding large alien guns in the foreground.

JACK
We need to search our surroundings, make sure we’re not in any kind of—

PANEL:
A horde (of about 20. That’s a horde, right?) of vicious humanoid aliens point their weapons at the kids. Jack and Jill have frozen themselves in fear while looking at the alien race.

JACK
Danger…

PANEL:
The kids have fearful looks on their faces, their eyes wide, shivering.

JILL
I think there’s danger, Jack.

PANEL:
Jack and Jill tumble as they’re tossed down to a stone-tile ground. The feet of the horde blocks any background.

JACK
Oof!

JILL
Gah!

PANEL:
The kids look up from the ground in amazement and fear.

THE CONQUERER
Ah. So this is them.

PAGE 15

PANEL:
Jack and Jill lift their heads from the ground, to see the king of the alien race on his throne. The throne room is small, dark, and seemingly built with a mix of metal and stone. The king is bigger than the rest of the aliens, with sharper teeth. He rests his mighty head on his fist, his elbow resting on the arms of his throne. He smirks at the children.

THE CONQUERER
The aliens.

PANEL:
Jack and Jill slowly get up from the ground and look up at the mighty figure which sits before them. The Conquerer has a hand out explainingly.

JACK
Ar—Aren’t you guys the, um… aliens?

THE CONQUERER
What? Of course not. This is our planet.

I mean, after we conquered it from the lowly lifeforms, that is. Speaking of which—

PANEL:
The Conquerer claps his hands and a lowly, round-headed, cute lifeform runs out from a nearby threshold with a big book. This lifeform is tired, beaten, and dressed in rags.

THE CONQUERER
Marzett!

Do we have an open booking for an execution today?

MARZETT
The schedule is right here, Mr. The Conquerer.

PANEL:
The book is open on The Conquerer’s lap. He has a hand on an open page and a finger pointed at the kids.

THE CONQUERER
Thank you, Marzett. Oh, yeah. That’s me, by the way. The Conquerer. I forgot to ask, who are you?

PANEL:
The Conquerer closes his eyes and waves his hand at the kids as he turn his head toward the book. Jack points a thumb at himself and gestures a hand towards Jill, who cowers a bit behind Jack.

JACK
I’m—

THE CONQUERER
Waitwaitwait. Never mind. I don’t wanna get attached or nothin’.

Ah. Here we go…

PANEL:
The Conquerer looks giddy as he closes the book with a mighty hand and points to the sky with another.

THE CONQUERER
There’s an opening right now!

PAGE 16

PANEL:
Jack and Jill stand on a stage attached to the giant alien castle in front of a crowd of the “lower lifeforms”, all of which are dressed like peasants. They are on the far left of the stage with Marzett, who’s mopping the area. The Conquerer is standing on the far right with his hands in the air excitedly. A group of his troops stand with him.

THE CONQUERER
My people!

JILL
This is stupid. You’re stupid. This is your fault.


PANEL:
The Conquerer is standing in the foreground towards the crowd of lifeforms, still with his hands in the air. Jill stands next to Jack, looking angry. Jack just sort of looks indifferent. They both watch The Conquerer make his speech.

THE CONQUERER
And also slaves!

JILL
You crashed the ship. You wanted to play with the box!

JACK
I know.

JILL
You—

PANEL:
Jill turns to Jack with an inquiring look. Jack still just looks ahead.

JILL
Huh?

JACK
For what little time it’s worth, I’m sorry.

PANEL:
The Conquerer speaks to his subjects off-panel. We see the reactions from the lifeforms The Conquerer and his minions have, well, conquered. They all have unimpressed looks upon their faces, with obvious resentment towards The Conquerer.

THE CONQUERER
Today we destroy invaders of our homelands!

PANEL:
Back to The Conquerer yelling his speech out over the crowd of lifeforms.

JILL
It’s okay. I Love you, bro.

JACK
Love you, too, sis.

PANEL:
The Conquerer reaches under a rag that covers a large object being held by one of The Conquerer’s minions.

THE CONQUERER
I would give a much bigger speech but honestly I’m pretty excited to shoot some stuff with my new ultimate weapon:

PANEL:
The Conquerer flings the rag into the sky behind him as he holds up a large deadly-looking gun.

THE CONQUERER
The Molekiller!

PANEL:
Jill holds her hands out in front of her, raised eyebrows, trying to explain the situation. Jack gulps with wide eyes. Marzett continues mopping behind them.

JILL
But wait! We’re not moles!

MARZETT
Nonono, it’s like “molecule” and “killer” combined. He thinks it’s clever.

PANEL:
Marzett walks away from behind the kids, dragging the mop with him. You can now see he was mopping up blue splotches on the ground. The kids stand in a flinching pose as The Conquerer aims The Molekiller with a smile ahead of them.

MARZETT
If he asks you if you think it’s clever before he kills you, say “Yes.” He likes it.

PAGE 17

PANEL:
A giant red and orange beam is fired from The Molekiller. The jolt pushes back The Conquerer a bit.

VO BOX
And the shot was heard across the great plains of the world.

PANEL:
The beam of light makes its way towards the kids at great speed. They have their hands up defensively, eyes shut tight. Marzett covers his eyes while standing up against the wall.

VO BOX
The fire erupted towards our heroes.

PANEL:
A close-up of Jack’s eye shut tight. The red glow from The Molekiller’s beam shines across his face.

VO BOX
And all was lost.

PANEL:
A black panel showing nothing.

VO BOX
The End.

PANEL:
A close-up of Jack’s eye opened wide. A pink glow shines across his face.

VO BOX
Except no.

PANEL:
Jack has his arms up wide in the air, his hands making fists. He has a look of astonishment and surprise on his face. Smoke makes its way around the pink bubble forming around him and Jill.

VO BOX
Because Jack has a force field!

PAGE 18

PANEL:
Jack has his arms and legs spread wide apart, making an X. Jill is on her hands and knees next to him, looking up in astonishment. A big, pink bubble protects them. Smoke curls around the bubble.

JILL
Oh my God!

JACK
Dude!

PANEL:
The Conquerer has The Molekiller down by his side, an arm up covering his chest, almost as if he himself was flinching from the shot. He shouts with a look of surprise.

THE CONQUERER
What the heck is that?!

PANEL:
Jack still has his arms in the air. He yells with a full smile and wide eyes. Tears stream down his face.

JACK
It’s a force field!

PANEL:
The Conquerer motions one hand at The Molekiller he holds in his other with furrowed brows, acting as if he’d been cheated.

THE CONQUERER
But— Come on! It’s a “Molecule Killer”! Your force field has to be made of them! It’s science!

PANEL:
Jack still has his fists in the air, the pink bubble still protecting both him and Jill. Jill is still on her knees and points an angry finger at The Conquerer who’s out of the frame.

JILL
It’s magic, you butt!

JACK
Quick, Jill! I don’t know how long I can hold this thing up! We need an escape!

PANEL:
Jill digs frantically in her pink purse.

JILL
I don’t have anything, man! All I got is this—

PANEL:
Jill takes out an impossibly large raygun, which couldn’t have fit into her purse by any actual standards. She looks at the gun in her hand with wide eyes.

JILL
Squirt gun?

PANEL:
Jill cradles the raygun in her hands, trying to comprehend how it manifested. Jack, still holding up the force field, yells with eyes angry and wide in The Conquerer’s direction.

JILL
How did—?

JACK
FIRE!

PANEL:
Jill fires wildly into a crowd of minions, eviscerating a lot of them. The rest begin to run away in fear, as does Marzett, from the other direction.

PANEL:
Jack’s force field disappears as he grabs Jill with one arm and starts running the same way Marzett went. Jill is still firing away wildly behind them with a big, laughing smile.

PANEL:
The Conquerer grabs one of his minions as they pass by him by the collar and yells to the rest, angrily.

THE CONQUERER
No! Don’t run, you fools! Get them!

PANEL:
A lower lifeform stands upon a rock, a mighty fist in the air, shouting to the fleeing crowd of his own species.

LIFEFORM
No! Don’t run, you fools!

PANEL:
The lifeform points a finger at the minions standing at the castle gates.

LIFEFORM
Get them!

PAGE 19

PANEL:
Jack runs ahead of Jill down a castle hallway, holding Jill’s hand.

JILL
Where are we?!

JACK
You think I have a map of this place or something?! Quick! This way!

PANEL:
The kids stand in the threshold of a giant room. In the center is a great pillar of light, with a bright, glowing orb in the center.

JILL
What is that?!

JACK
I don’t know, but shoot it!

PANEL:
Jack and Jill yell frantically in each other’s faces. Jack grips Jill by the shoulders, bent down to her level and slightly shaking her.

JILL
Why?!

JACK
Because I

don’t know

what else

to do!

PANEL:
The kids turn around to see The Conquerer and his minions charging down the hallway, but a crowd of lower lifeforms are beating up the minions in the back of his group.

JACK
Hurry! They’re coming!

PANEL:
Jill screams and fires wildly with her new raygun.

JILL
AAAAAAAAAH!

PANEL:
The shots are fired into the big, glowing orb. Fire and electricity shoots from the holes Jill has put into it. Mini explosions happen throughout the room and bits of the ceiling start to fall down as the whole castle trembles.

PANEL:
One of the Conquerer’s minions, dressed in scientific goggles and a lab coat, grips the side of his head with both hands.

CONQUERER MINION
No! not the compass collider column compressor!

PANEL:
Jack raises one brow, processing what he just heard. Jill runs off behind him with one arm waving, trying to get Jack’s attention.

JACK
That’s a thing?

JILL
Jack! this way!

PANEL:
The rocketship the kids came in on is on scaffolding with scientific equipment and machines laying around it. It sits in the light of a large castle window. Jack and Jill run towards it while bigger chunks of the castle come crashing to the ground.

JILL
They brought our ship!

JACK
Get in!

PANEL:
The kids frantically slap at buttons in the cockpit while the whole ship rumbles.

JILL
We still don’t know how to start it!

JACK
Just press whatever looks important!

PANEL:
The compass collider column compressor explodes, erupting light throughout the room.

PANEL:
The Conquerer and his minions flinch while light encompasses them.

PANEL:
The rocketship is propelled out of the castle window by the explosion, gliding sideways and headed towards the ground, still inoperable.

JACK & JILL
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

PANEL:
Jack and Jill tip over the cardboard box, tumbling out into their living room and at the feet of a parental figure in dress shoes and khakis. They are no longer wearing spacesuits, but the clothing they were when they got into the box.

JACK & JILL
AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

PAGE 20

PANEL:
The kids look up from the ground with wide eyes. Eyes that has seen some serious stuff. That 1000-yard-stare type of stuff.

PANEL:
Jack and Jill’s father stands with hands on his hips. Smiling and looking down at his two kids.

DAD
What’re you two goofballs doing?

PANEL:
The kids jump up and start yelling incomprehensible things. A mixture of everything they’ve seen.

PANEL:
A small panel of the dad still looking down at his kids, smiling.

PANEL:
A small panel of the dad still looking down at his kids, smiling slightly less.

PANEL:
A small panel of the dad still looking down at his kids, without a smile, like he’s getting a little bored.

PANEL:
Jack still has his arms up in the air, standing on one foot, as he watches his dad walk away. Jill has a similar wild expression.

JILL
and there was so much gore! And—

DAD
Sounds like you guys had a fun day!

PANEL:
The kids watch their dad walk into the kitchen and open up the new fridge.

PANEL:
Jack looks over towards Jill, but to no one in particular, while Jill speaks directly at him. They both have very tired eyes.

JACK
He doesn’t believe us.

JILL
Would you?!

PANEL:
From the perspective of inside the box, the viewer looks up at the kids as they peer inside.

JACK
Man…

PANEL:
Back on the alien world, the lower lifeforms build giant stone statues of Jack and Jill in heroic poses. The Conquerer’s castle lies in the background off to the side with a giant hole coming from the top. Lifeforms hold tools and blueprints, pointing at the statues of their mighty saviors. Multiple moons hang in the sky during the day.

JACK
[VO BOX]
What the heck is this thing?


TO BE CONTINUED…

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