"I use'ta be friends with this Asian kid back in high school. This was back in the Eighties, y'know? You usually saw all the Asian kids with their heads in books, really quiet, only talked to each other, right? My buddy, though? Always partied with me, kind of chunky... You didn't see too many chunky Asians. Anyway, we would always get drunk and wander around Downtown, y'know?
"Well one time we're drunk and stumblin' around waiting for some meeting he has to make at a certain time. I figure, 'What, does he want to buy drugs or something?' But we end up at this Chinese restaurant late at night and I'm like, 'What're we doing here, man?' and he's like 'Aw, I gotta meet up with my uncle while he's in town.' So we're tryin' to sober up a bit while we're being led to the very back of the restaurant. There's this big-ass curtain blocking off this room from the rest of the place and sittin' at the table are a whole bunch of these Japanese guys in business suits. Young, old, they're all just sittin' around and I don't speak the damn language. I'm just sittin' next to my buddy and he gets what they're sayin' so he don't pay no damn attention to me. But at least the drinks keep comin' and they don't seem to care that we're underage.
"So anyway I'm just kinda noddin' off, minding my own cause no one wants to speak with the gaijin, me, but they keep sayin' the word 'Yakuza, yakuza'. And my eyes get a little wide as I look around and notice how these guys look a bit scary. And what am I supposed to do? Just get up and leave?
"Then the restaurant owner comes by and puts this big fuckin' snake on the table and they give everyone a glass. Then they get this huge bottle of sake and pour a bit into everyone's cup. And the owner, he picks up the snake and cuts the end of its tail off! And I'm just freakin'. I'm silent, but I'm thinkin' there's gonna be a murder goin' on here soon or somethin'. But they pour a bit of the snake's blood into everyone's cup of sake, and everyone goes 'Kanpai!'
"And my buddy's uncle, he puts a hand on my shoulder and tells me in broken English, 'This drink cost the table $2,000!' and I ask him, 'Why not just buy the snake?' And everyone does that real quiet thing and waits to see what he's gonna say. But, luckily for me, he just laughs, so everyone else does, too. And he tells me somethin' like, 'You are wise beyond your years.' By the end of the night, they ended up giving me that bottle of sake."
"Do you still have it?"
"Nah, I was a drunk. Still am. That stuff was gone real fast. Wish I had a bit left, though. That stuff was some of the best I ever had."
No comments:
Post a Comment